A Revelation

I have talked before about how much the things people say affect us, but I guess I didn’t realize just how much it changes the way we physically see ourselves. I thought that the affect I was talking about was just how I felt uncomfortable in well fitting clothes, or how I didn’t like to look in the mirror or step on the scale because I didn’t feel beautiful. I found out over the last few days that it is so much more than that.

This weekend I had someone, who has always been a big part of my life, stay with me. They have been influential in everything I have done in my life and they have said things to me that no person should ever hear. They have been supportive and cruel all in the same embrace. I know that this person is the core reason why it took me so long to start loving myself for who I really am. When they were here I wore loose fitting clothes and was always pulling the fabric away from my stomach. When I got dressed in the morning and looked at myself, standing there in a tank top and jeans, I saw everything I always hated about my body. I saw my stomach pushing over the top of my jeans, I saw how big my arms had become, I saw how round my cheeks are now and I felt uncomfortable in my own skin again. I haven’t felt that way since, almost the beginning of this journey and I hated it. I quickly did my hair and pulled on my boyfriend’s hoodie so I could hide my body once again and obtain some semblance of comfort.

Dealing with all of my insecurities all over again made me realize that as great as I have been feeling, as much as I have started to love what I see in the mirror, the pain, frustration, hurt, and anger are so very close to the surface. It was something that pushed me to really focus on ensuring I didn’t fall off track. I wanted to make sure that even though I was having trouble feeling as good as I have been, I didn’t let this experience stop me from reaching for the goals I have been setting for myself.

It’s crazy how the presence of one person can change what I see in the mirror so much. This morning when I got dressed and stood in front of the mirror, in a tank top and jeans, I loved everything about the beautiful woman looking back at me. I didn’t see those imperfections I saw the morning before, I didn’t feel uncomfortable in my own skin, and I felt my motivation coming back and driving me forward once more. I am not going to let anything stop me from being a healthier, happier, and more active person.

I don’t know why people feel that it is okay to bring those they love down. It frustrates me. It also frustrates me that they will never truly understand how much damage they have done to those they have torn down. We all need to start choosing our words more carefully and find ways to build our loved ones up, cheer them on, and always be an ear to listen to how they are feeling.

Well time is winding down on the deadline for my next goal. There are three days left for me to lose the final pounds to hit my, ten pounds down, goal. This first ten pounds is a huge deal to me. It’s an amazing accomplishment and I am so excited to hit that goal. Though something to keep in mind is that when I step on the scale on that last day, it’s ok if I didn’t lose the whole ten pounds. I have done something that is challenging, amazing, and has already changed my life for the better. Do I want to have met my goal on the deadline I originally set? Of course, but nothing will change the fact that I have made some amazing change in just a short period of time. So the countdown is on and all that’s left to see is what I decide to celebrate come that final day. 

Week Two Down!

Wow! I can’t believe week two is now complete. This has been one heck of a ride so far! There have been successes, celebrations, falters, and frustrations and I am still going strong with a ton of motivation! I haven’t been working out as much over the past week. Life has been getting in my way, a lot. In the light of struggling to maintain the high activity in my day, I have been focusing on making sure I am watching what I am eating and making healthier choices and eating fewer cookies.

One of the things I have noticed is that I struggle a lot on my days off to drink enough water. When I start my day with a workout, this isn’t as difficult as I drink nearly 24oz just while I workout, however for some of the days in this past week when I wasn’t able to get my workout in there I struggle to drink that much throughout the entire day. For me, I find that my water intake is something that makes or breaks my success. If I’m not drinking enough water, I tend to want to snack more. In addition I don’t workout as hard when I finally do get to it because I don’t feel 100% up to it. After noticing this over the course of the last week it is something that I am definitely going to put a bigger focus on.

I was so hesitant to step on the scale this morning, knowing that I hadn’t worked out as much as I wanted to throughout the week made me nervous. Now even if that number on the scale didn’t lower, or it went up, I was still determined to be proud of the changes I had stuck to when it came to my eating. There were a few times over the course of this past week that all I wanted to do was sit down and eat three chocolate bars or an entire pie, depending on what I had available to me at the time, but I didn’t. I stayed on track and made sure that anything I ate was tracked on my app. So I was surprised when I stepped on the scale this morning and realized that I have met my first goal! I was so excited when I saw that, I squealed and my children came running to see what was going on. I am now only 2.6 pounds away from my next goal, which is to lose a total of 10 pounds before December 1^st. I have eight days to do this and I am determined to make it! Another goal I am going to have for week three is to workout a minimum of six days. After not being as consistent with it this week I want to make sure I get that part of my journey back on track.

I haven’t done my workout yet this morning, but afterwards I plan on cooking up some meals in advance for this week and putting together my breakfast, lunch and snacks for tomorrow. I am finding that getting everything together the day before when I go to work is helping me to stick to my plan.

With each day that I can stay on track I feel my momentum growing. Every day when I complete my log I feel good, knowing that I am changing my life one day at a time is an incredible feeling. Hearing how my journey and my words are inspiring others is also something amazing. I love talking about this journey with my friends and family and watching their faces light up and the fire that builds inside of them as well. Having more people around me stepping up to change their lives as well, to make healthier choices and push themselves to be more active each and every day is something that is inspiring me. Having an effect on those around me with the choices that I am making for myself and my family drives my motivation to its maximum. I am seriously pumped to start this week and to get things ready for another great week. I’m looking forward to see just what I can do before the beginning of the New Year. I have 22.8 pounds left to go to hit my goal weight. I know I can get there and I am planning on hitting that goal by my birthday on February 8^th. I like having my short term goals to keep me motivated as I go along each day, but I also like having a timeline for hitting my goal weight so I really feel like it is crunch time and I can push myself to give it all I have.

Next month is going to be a big challenge, but I am ready for it! Let’s do this!!

Day Eight, Nine and Ten

It has been a busy few days. I sat down a couple of times attempting to catch up here and just couldn’t get the words right. But let me tell you, what a way to start out the first day of week two! I stepped on the scale in the morning and I have lost another 1.4 pounds! I only have 1.1 left to go to meet my very first goal. I talked before about having small goals to reach for throughout my journey and I have almost hit my first one. It’s so exciting when I am oh so close! It makes me want to work that much harder just to get there. I decided to treat myself and enjoy that delicious chocolate bar my hunni gave me; however, I still stayed under my calorie goal for the day. In addition to that, I worked out both in the morning and again that night.

Rest days are important as well. You need to give your body time to recover as you rebuild your muscles.  I decided to have day nine be my rest day. I had a nice night of dinner for two and catching up on the Walking Dead with my boyfriend so it just made sense to use that day as one where I took it easy. I made sure to stay on track throughout the day, eat right and track everything. I find on my rest days I am more determined to make sure I eat right because I am not burning the extra calories.

Here we are on day ten. I’ve been having conversations with a number of my friends and family about my journey and I am so lucky. I have so many people who love me just as I am but support me in this amazing life change. Having all of that support also got me thinking about when I was struggling to get started, struggling to get moving. I wanted so badly to have the drive I do now and each time I decided to sit on my couch instead of getting up and getting moving I got even more down on myself. We don’t truly understand the struggles of those around us and how much our words affect them. Something as simple as telling someone they look amazing can lift their mood and change their outlook on the day. In the same respect hurtful words can bring someone to an even lower point than you thought they could ever be at. Each person deals with their personal battles differently and when you have someone in your life that is struggling all I ask is that you make sure that no matter how low they feel, you are there for them. Let them know they are not alone and that this struggle is merely temporary.

I struggled tonight to workout. I got my boys to bed and felt like I could just curl up in bed with a good book or a nice movie and I almost did. Imagine for a moment the movies where an angel is on one shoulder and a devil is on the other battling for the win over your decision. That is how I feel any time I start to struggle to stay on track. I have an argument that goes on completely inside my head. There are two people in there, a cheerleader that says over and over again that I can do this, just get changed and get moving. Then there’s the hardass that says things like, “Move it you lazy bum!” Both of which help to keep me moving when all I want to do is snuggle into a soft pillow and warm blanket.

Moving into the colder winter months is one of the hardest times to make this life change. We have fewer options to get moving and more motivation to snuggle into a loved one with a warm blanket. If you’re like me, a gym isn’t really an option because I don’t live very close to one and I don’t want to sacrifice any of the time I currently have with my children to workout. Being able to workout with them here in my home is something that we all enjoy and I am not losing any quality time. When everything seems to be working against you, you have to make the choice. I have been making the choice each and every day to work hard and become a happier, healthier, and more active me. It’s not always an easy push but I always feel better once I have convinced myself to stay on track with my eating and workout hard. It feels like even more of a success when I know I have had to push myself even harder just to stay on track, because I still did it. If you can build your motivation up now, in the middle of November, and keep it going throughout cold, relentless months of winter, you can reach your goals without fail.

Day Seven - Week One Down

Today it has officially been a week since I decided to get serious about making a healthy lifestyle change and I feel amazing. I wasn’t in the greatest of moods when I got home tonight and was seriously considering having tonight be my rest night since I worked out last night when I wasn’t going to. Instead I thought about the energy I had building up inside of me and got changed after putting my boys to bed and worked out for almost an hour. When I was done I felt so much better. I’m really glad I didn’t let a sour mood stop me from staying on track.

I did have a little bit of trouble with my eating today, but not in the way you would expect. Although my darling did give me a chocolate bar (one that I have saved and haven’t even tasted as of yet) it wasn’t so much staying away from the foods that I wanted to avoid that was the issue. I didn’t find I was as hungry as I have been on previous days since I cut back on my calories and I struggled to ensure that I had enough in my day to so I was not being unhealthy. Some people in my life who have struggled to love themselves have blindly cut back on what they were eating to the point where they may have been having 600 or 700 calories in a day. This is NOT the way to reach your goals. Starving your body is doing the opposite of what you think you are. But refusing to eat enough to properly function throughout the day you are actually training your body to store everything it can because your system doesn’t know when the next proper meal is coming. This person was so frustrated because they weren’t seeing the results they wanted. Finally they increased what they were eating in a day, made healthy choices in the fuel they were putting into their body, and started to exercise regularly and now they have nearly reached their goal in the right way.

I have been starting to think about next month. There are going to be so many things going on that could throw me off track. There will be big family dinners, cookies, chocolates and so many potentially lazy days. I wanted to put a plan in place to make sure that I don’t stray away from my goals. I am thinking about week over week scheduling my workouts and planning more than one day in advance when it comes to what I will be eating. I can make a lot of the meals during my days off and get the snacks for the week together on my weekend. This way I won’t even have to think about eating right as everything will be close at hand to grab and go and I will have my workout as part of my schedule so there is no excuse not to make the time for it.

I want to start exploring new meals over the next couple of weeks. I tried out a new chili recipe my mom gave to me. Though it wasn’t spicy enough for me (I love spicy food and pretty much drink hot sauce) it was pretty tasty. It got me thinking though that I haven’t tried a lot of new recipes lately. I am planning, over the remainder of this week, to find some low calorie meals that peak my interest. I LOVE food and really enjoy cooking so I feel this could be the next step in making my adventure even more enjoyable.

Day Five and Six

Day five started out great. I made breakfast for my boys and set them up downstairs watching a movie so I could watch them while I hopped on the treadmill. It feels so great starting out my day by being active. I really enjoyed how it made me feel when I was able to start and end my day with a workout on Friday and I was hoping to be able to do the same yesterday. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get home until late after dropping my boys off for a sleepover at their grandparents. I ended up using the time I had before having to go to bed to make sure I still made my breakfast, lunch and snacks in advance. 

I seem to be a little backwards compared to the people I have talked to. I find it really easy to stay on track with my eating when I am at home, rather than when I am at work. Although I put together my lunch and snacks in advance for work, I find the temptation of snacking on junk food or buying something sweet tends to be harder to deal with when I am sitting at a desk for the day. Speaking of temptation, my darling boyfriend was a complete trouble maker today! He was teasing me about the delicious brownies he made and even held one under my nose until I couldn’t handle it anymore! NO, I did not eat it right away, I was rather proud of myself; I wanted to make sure I could fit it into my day without going over my calorie goal. He was a sweetheart and said something along the lines of “do you not deserve a treat now and again?” It made me think about an article I read. We talked a bit about body shaming and this article focused on food shaming. Often when we are changing the way we are eating we think of what foods are “good” for us and what foods are “bad” for us. Thinking about it this way makes us feel really guilty when we give in to that brownie or bag of chips. I really liked the way this article talked about how we should be looking at food as fuel and think of it as efficient fuel and less efficient fuel. This way it takes away the guilt and we can truly enjoy the food that we are eating. I can tell you one thing, that brownie was absolutely delicious and I don’t feel a bit guilty about eating it.

My mood was kind of up and down today, but even with that I was able to stay on track with my eating and finished another great day. I had originally planned to have today be my rest day, but when I got home I had a ton of energy that I needed to work off so I did a workout instead of resting. I made sure that it wasn’t as intense as the other days I have been working out because it was originally intended to be a rest day but I feel great that I did end up finishing my day active. There are so many times that mood can affect you in a negative way when it comes to a workout. I have been there where I have been down or angry and I start to workout and it just doesn’t feel right. I tend to get more frustrated and either quit before I am finished or not really give it my all. Or I just sit on the couch and make every excuse I can to stay there because the last thing that I want to do is move. All I would be thinking about is whatever it was that had gotten to me, now I think of all of the energy I have built up that needs to be released and it feels so much better.

Well today was day six, after making it through tomorrow night I will have been on this adventure for a full week. I know it is just beginning, but the changes that have taken place already are driving my motivation. The conversations I am having every day with people who are working on the same changes and people that are supporting me through this, inspire me. The way that my boyfriend is there for me in every way possible with this while still making sure I know that he loves me just the way I am makes me feel absolutely amazing. Because of all of this, even if the only thing that changed through this process what was a felt better and I have more energy, sleep better and am more active I still love me. 2.8 pounds doesn’t change someone’s appearance, but when I look in the mirror I love the beautiful woman looking back at me. I look at my body and I am starting to see it the way my love does. I feel beautiful, I feel sexy and I am not going to stop. I am completely committed to my journey and I can’t wait to see what next week brings.

Day Four

Let me begin by saying thank you to our veterans. Thank you for your sacrifices so that my family can live free and share such a beautiful life together. Lest we forget.

Life tends to throw curve balls just when you have a plan set in place to achieve success. How successful you will be depends on how you take those curve balls. Do you take them in stride and move around the obstacles like water down a mountain? Or do you let it throw you off of your feet?

My plan for today was to get my boys off to school and do my morning workout, pick up some things we need, meet with my boys teachers at noon, get some things finished around the house then do another workout either with my boys tonight or once they went to bed. Last night around 11pm one of my boys started to vomit. First, all over the floor of their shared room, then several more times throughout the night into the bowl I kept beside him. Needless to say I didn’t get very much sleep at all last night and I thought that it was going to really throw me off this morning. When I got up to get my other little man ready for school, my sick little bug went to sleep. After the bus left I made the decision that I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of the wonderful feeling I have been enjoying, not even the flu. When my little man opened his eyes I told him if he needed me I would be in the basement on the treadmill and to simply call out to me and I would come to him. He didn’t want to be away from me, so I set up my TV with a movie of his choice in front of very comfortable blankets and pillows that I made into a nest for him. Then this Momma hopped onto the treadmill and worked my butt off.

I still tracked everything I ate, came in under my calorie goal, AND did a second workout tonight, finishing it only five minutes ago. I feel incredible that even with life working against me I was able to stick to my plan and take care of myself today. It has become so important to me knowing just how good it is making me feel each and every day.

On a side note, one thing I did say I was going to do that I did not, was to put my scale under my bed. This morning I couldn’t resist the temptation and I stepped on it. I am going to be honest here and feel like I am not the only one that has ever done this. There have been times that I have stepped on the scale and tried to cheat by standing certain ways so that the number would drop just a bit. This morning was not one of those days and so far in my journey I have lost 2.8 pounds! Seeing those first pounds come off was part of what drove my determination to stick to my plan for the day. I am even more excited about what I am doing, how it is making me feel, and the affects it is having on my body.

My son asked me this morning as I was on the treadmill, why I had to work out. Like a flash, the things that have been said to me throughout my life jumped forward in my mind. The body shaming comments, the tears, the frustration, and the never truly feeling like I would ever be good enough. I pushed all of it aside because I NEVER want my children to struggle with the emotional roller coaster I have experienced. So I just smiled at him and told him working out made me healthier, that it helped me to be stronger and it makes me feel really good. He told me how he wants to work out too because he wants to be strong like Mommy and Daddy. I want him to enjoy being active, I want him to want to be active, not for a certain body type, but because it makes him feel good and it makes him feel strong. I know that there are things that will be said to my boys that I can’t stop, but if I can build up their confidence in themselves I am hoping it won’t affect them in a negative way.

Tomorrow I have a similar plan to today. I want to workout first thing in the morning, eat great throughout the day and workout again before I go to bed. The motivation I can feel surging through my body is electrifying! I don’t’ ever want it to stop!

However, since I wasn’t able to get much sleep last night and I don’t know how tonight is going to go, I think I am going to shower up and pass out!

Day Three

With each step I take in the right direction I feel amazing. Day three was another fantastic day! I had a little hiccup where the premade salad I took for my lunch today was no longer any good, but I managed to stretch out the remainder of the food I had allotted throughout the day and make it to dinner time without being overly hungry. I have read a few debates on whether it is better to have several smaller meals or three larger ones and my conclusion is that you need to listen to your body. While grazing can cause you to actually eat too much throughout the day if you’re not careful, waiting to eat can also make you hungrier so you tend to eat more when you sit down to that larger meal. Because I track everything I eat I don’t worry that grazing throughout the day will put me over my calories. I find this works better for me because I don’t ever get hungry to the point where I feel the need eat too much.  

I have been starting to brain storm what meals and snacks I can make to shake things up so I never get bored. One of the things that I have done personally before when making a change to eat healthier was to eat the same thing almost all the time. I don’t know about you, but I eventually get bored and grab that chocolate bar I haven’t had in a month, or eat those chips I have been able to stay away from just for something different. The result is always the same, I feel like garbage afterward because I ate something I didn’t want to simply because of boredom. But there are so many different options out there to shake things up. I don’t suggest cutting out the things you love. Cutting out something you love to eat, even though it is bad for you, can sometimes end in you binge eating that particular item. My vice you ask? Chips! I remember when my ex was trying to get healthy with me he told me we had to stop eating them completely…. You guessed it…. This chick sat down and ate two family size bags all by myself….. Never again will I cut something completely out of my diet that I love. Moderation with these items is key. I still eat my chips when I am craving them, but I only need one or two to satisfy the craving so I take a few out of the bag, close it and put it away. I track that I ate them and tend to push harder when I am working out knowing that I ate something that wasn’t so good for me.

Day two and three have been huge successes and it is amazing the feeling that I get from these first great days. I ate better and stayed on track for my calories and I worked out hard both days. I have so much more energy and I am finding that I am getting less sleep consistently throughout the night, but I am also sleeping deeper when I do. No matter what time I wake up I feel refreshed and ready to go. Prime example number one, I had maybe four hours sleep last night and went into work for 3:30 this morning. I didn’t start feeling tired until 3pm this afternoon. It is so much easier to make it through my days and I know as I become stronger and stay consistent I will only feel better.

I haven’t taken measurements yet as in my move, about four months ago, my tape measure took a walk and didn’t return…. Yet anyway, but today I borrowed one and intend to take my measurements in the morning. I have taken a before picture and have my starting weight and no matter how uncomfortable, I encourage anyone making a huge change to do this so that even when the number on the scale isn’t moving you can see the difference in the size of your waist, hips, arms etc and your profile. Because we look in the mirror almost every day it is a lot harder for us to see the changes that are taking place in our body.

Staying positive is huge. I have noticed when something happens in my life or I just have a bad day, I find it so much easier to just push off that workout until tomorrow. So there is something that I am going to try. I have heard of many people writing positive things on post it notes and putting it up on the bathroom mirror. It becomes one of the first things you see in the morning and one of the last things you see at night. I am going to include the beautiful things my children say to me, the compliments my boyfriend, family and friends give me and I am going to write to myself and tell myself how strong and beautiful I am. I am going to read all of them every morning and every night so that no matter what is in between, my day begins and ends on a beautiful and positive note.

As a final note for day three, I intend to hide my scale under my bed. It is far too tempting sitting there on the bathroom floor to check and see if I have lost even .1 of a pound and I don’t want to get discouraged. Only weigh yourself once a week!! This is my way of making sure that happens for me. 

Day One and Two

One of the things that makes such a big change so hard is that we all place unrealistic expectations on how we will do, when we will see change and just how much change we will see in a very short period of time. I bring this up because day one of my change to a healthier life did not go as planned. I didn’t eat as well as I wanted to and I also ate more than I should have. Still, I am not looking at day one as anything but a success. I tracked everything that I put into my body in complete honesty and worked out hard knowing I didn’t eat as well as I had planned. This was my step one towards a healthier more active life and any step in the right direction is a success.

Making small goals to focus on throughout your journey helps too. If I think about overall weight (which I never solely focus on) I have about 30 pounds I would like to lose to meet my goal. If I look at the fact that I haven’t lost thirty pounds yet when I am weighing in and taking my measurements than I will get discouraged and potentially lose that awesome momentum I am in the process of building up. Instead I make the goal of eating right and working out today. I make the goal of celebrating after I lose the first 4 pounds. And finally, I make the goal that I am going to give it everything I can this week and celebrate at the end of it when I am successful.

When it comes to eating better, I like to track what fuel I am putting into my body. Not only am I able to better see where I need to make adjustments nutritionally, but it helps me personally to eat in moderation. I know that if I measure how much rice and stir fry veggies I am putting on my plate I will be completely satisfied once I have finished my meal. If I am not tracking just how much I am eating I tend to put more on my plate and eat it all because it is sitting in front of me. How many of you have this issue too? Tracking doesn’t work for everyone, but I have found that the awareness that it brings to me helps me to make better choices each and every day.

I had so much energy last night after I worked out. I decided to do a speed walk on my treadmill at the highest incline possible for approximately 40 minutes, then walked for about 10 minutes more to cool down. I never understood how people would say that they had more energy when working out. I thought that it was impossible because you would use so much energy throughout your workout, there was no way you would have more when you were done. However, last night I was pumped and flew through packing my lunch for work.

Although I don’t think anyone should rely on the people in their lives to say the things they need to hear in order to keep going, I am thankful for the people I have in my life. My darling boyfriend has told me countless times how beautiful I am and that I don’t need to lose anything, but he has also made it clear that no matter what I decide to do he will support me through my journey. My sister is a fantastic cheerleader and is always telling me I am doing a great job at life, even when I feel like I have been a bump on a log. She celebrates even when I don’t feel like I deserve a celebration. I also have wonderful friends who have joined me in my personal challenge to become a healthier more active me and I couldn’t be happier to share in this journey with all of these amazing people.

Along the lines of tracking meals, planning your day in advance helps too. Last night before I got ready for bed I made up my breakfast (I work very early and end up eating breakfast part way through my day at work), my lunch and snacks for the next day. As I think back on day one not going exactly as I planned it I simply smile. I think about how much drive that gave me to make day two amazing. After making and tracking all of my meals and snacks for the day in advance, I was able to stay on track with what I ate. I even increased the amount of water I was drinking and I feel amazing about day two! It’s not over yet but I have plans to workout hard on my treadmill and then check out one of the workout apps I downloaded to try.

I want to feel like this every day, I want to have energy to burn; I want to be excited about the changes I am making and share my successes. I want to celebrate every milestone and feel that I am constantly moving forward. My challenge is merely beginning yet I feel like it has already changed my life. I am so excited to see the changes in the coming weeks and months! So it’s back to it, and I leave you so I can get to my workout for day two!

The Beginning

Life… life isn’t always easy or fair. Life can be hard, painful and sometimes unbearable, but it can also be precious, fulfilling and absolutely wonderful.

 

We all have things that happen to us throughout our lives that shape who we are. Good things, bad things, easy things and hard things that build, brick after brick, the core characteristics that we will hold onto throughout the remainder of our lives. One of the things that a lot of people deal with is others shaming them. The one that I want to focus on today is the body shaming that happens. This is something that needs to stop. Some people don’t even realize the monumental affect that they are having on the person they are speaking to when they are making their comments.  

 

Some of the things I know that affected me when I was younger were comments that I needed to stop running around at the beach with my friends because it was disgusting. I was maybe 15 years old. The constant commentary that I had gained weight every time I would visit was something else that was highly impacting. At a young age I decided to stop eating junk and be more careful how much food I was ingesting and I was then shamed for wasting food. When, as a young woman, I decided to work out and push myself to be a healthier more active me, I was told I was too skinny and that someone much larger than me was more of an average weight. So it didn’t matter which way I went I was told it wasn’t good enough. It was constantly drilled into me that I wouldn’t ever just be perfect the way I was.

 

What’s wrong with this picture? Should we really be teaching our young men and women to hate themselves no matter what they look like?

 

One of the things that I hate hearing is, “I’m glad they are finally using REAL women for the runway, or magazine”. This is a statement that just aggravates the heck out of me. What do you consider a real woman? I personally consider all women to be REAL. It doesn’t matter what size or shape, weight or height someone is, they are REAL. Stop making someone feel as though they are not good enough because they don't match the image of beauty you have created in your head.

 

Because of the things that have been said to me throughout my life I have struggled very hard to love the way I look. I still struggle very hard to love the way I look. I have wanted to lose weight for a while and a few years back I did. I lost thirty pounds all of my own without help from anyone. In fact, my partner at the time wasn't even encouraging. He was continually telling me that I wasn't going to maintain my lifestyle change, that I wasn't going to be able to do it, I wouldn't be successful. What was it that gave me the drive to do it? Not my size, not my weight, not the words of others. It was my kids. I was running around playing with my boys one day and after making it around the dining room table twice with them, I was winded. It was that moment that I knew I needed to make a change. I wanted to be able to play with my boys for hours. I wanted to be able to run with them at the park until they got tired out, not me. It was that pivotal moment that I decided to make a change.

After being successful in losing thirty pounds, something happened that brought my momentum to a crashing halt. I had a car accident. Due to the injuries I sustained in my car accident I had to be patient in getting back into working out. I had to give myself time to heal and as I did that I lost the drive that I had been holding onto throughout the process. And now I find myself at a crossroads once again. I don't like how I look, I don't like how I feel and I want to make a change in my life. Any change no matter how big or how small it is, is hard. So I need to make myself accountable. Hence why I am writing this blog. I am now accountable to you, my readers. This is something that I have found to help me through my life changes. Knowing that I am letting someone know about my progress, knowing that someone is going to be keeping tabs and paying attention and not wanting to provide a disappointing answer. I have already started talking to my boys about working out more and they make a habit of asking me every day if we can all workout together. So now I will be sharing my progress, my successes, failures, triumphs and challenges with you as my final form of accountability. I am hoping that my story and my journey through this life change will help even one person to feel better about themselves or maybe to make a life change of their own.

Sharing a journey so intimate is not an easy task. It is something that even as I sit here and write now, I am struggling with. So today is my day one, the beginning of this new journey. I may get to the point where I share with you my weight and measurements, but I am not there yet. So for now I will share my plan. I am going to workout five to six days a week, either on my treadmill or by using one of my many workout videos. I am going to change the way I am eating. I am going to make healthier choices and when I want to have that treat, I am going to eat in moderation.

Anyone can feel free to join me on this journey. We can share our experiences, be a cheerleader for each other, and pass on recipes, workouts and simple but impactful words of encouragement. The time for change is now, today my journey begins.